Sam loves quesadillas, hugs and the food network.
Sam is my nephew.
Sam is autistic.
I am sure you have heard about autism. It is a commonly diagnosed auto-immune disorder with a very wide spectrum.
I personally had never been in close contact with any one who had any kind of disability or disorder or whatever you want to call, “IT”.
Until Sam came along.
He has completely changed how I view people. I am one of those people who sees a child in the store acting up and I instantly assume the parents have not properly disciplined the child. But now, thanks to Sam, I stop those thoughts from forming and remind myself that I don’t know their situation. There could be more that meets the eye.
Sam is my sister’s, Rachel, middle child and watching the journey their whole family has undertaken because of Sam is something amazing to see. They have had to learn to work together in all circumstances, as families should, but they have to be even more in tune with each other. Now that Sam is a little older he doesn’t escape as often, but he still does sometimes. Yes, escape. He likes to run out the front door and to someone like me it seems aimless. But to Matt and Rachel, they know he has a purpose. Rachel can nearly always predict where he has gone. Although he does usually have a goal in mind, obviously a young child running around the neighborhood is a safety issue, so everyone has to make sure Sam’s whereabouts are always known.
Sam depends heavily on his big brother, Christopher, who is only 14 months older than he, but at the same time is mature beyond his years. Christopher understands Sam has certain needs that must be taken care of. The last time we visited Christopher showed a maturity level that astounded me. Linus and Christopher have always spent their little bits of time together pretty much attached at the hip. Playing together, eating together, sleeping together in the same bed, I am sure next time we go they will be in the woods building forts and climbing trees like we all did as kids.
But this time was different.
In the past Sam has shown almost no interest in the other boys. When we went back this last summer, Rachel and I noticed a couple little, tiny things. For the first time, Sam wanted to sit next to Christopher and Linus at meals. In fact he insisted on it. We all got pretty excited about it.
Soon after that trip Sam crawled into bed with Christopher for the night and went to sleep. He has slept with his big brother ever since and although sometimes Christopher just wants to be left alone, he knows that Sam needs him. So when Linus came to visit of course Linus wanted to sleep with Christopher and Christopher wanted to sleep with Linus. Not Sam. But Christopher understood and put up with both boys crowding into his bed. It became really hard when all of a sudden one night after sleeping like that for about 2 weeks, Linus suddenly realized there was no nightlight in the room. Linus has always slept with some sort of dim light on and Sam and Christopher like it dark and for whatever reason he hadn’t noticed until then. So Linus started throwing a fit, so Sam started getting upset because crying and such scares him so then Christopher, who was extremely tired, started trying to solve the problem and make everyone happy and was falling apart too. At that point we had to separate them. I felt bad for Linus who really didn’t understand. But I was so amazed by Christopher who just packed up and moved to a different room so Sam could be with him. No questions, no complaints, he knew he was needed. Linus still doesn’t really get it and I know he has a long road ahead of him, learning to include Sam even though Sam doesn’t even know exactly how he wants to be included, he just knows he does.
And Sam is working on it too. In his own way. He works hard trying to learn what most other people take for granted. Things like social skills and eating vegetables.
But he will get there.
And so will the rest of us.
In the meantime we are all so fortunate that Sam is who he is. Because Sam is pushing the rest of us to be the best we can be for his benefit. He isn’t satisfied with any of us being sub-par. At least that is how I look at it. He is an almost 5 year old with very high standards.
But besides that Sam is affectionate and loving and has the sweetest smile and a little twinkle in his eye that someday, someone will learn the secret behind.
But for now, he’s keeping that to himself.
Sam and his family team:
- Huckleberry Plum Pie - January 1, 2017
- Fresh Mango Sorbet - July 17, 2016
- Steak Caesar Salad - June 8, 2016
